The Pen Addict 366/transcript
| The Pen Addict Podcast Transcript | |
|---|---|
| Episode: | 366 |
| Title: | A Beautifully Told Story |
| Release Date: | July 3rd, 2019 |
| Hosts: | Brad Dowdy |
| Guests: | No guests this episode |
| Additional Information | |
| Official page: | Episode 366 |
| Audio File: | Audio Episode 366 |
| Podcast page: | The Pen Addict 366 |
| Length: | 5858 min <br />0.967 h <br /> minutes |
| Previous Transcript | Next Transcript |
Speaker 02: For RelayFM, this is The Pen Addict, episode 366. Today's show is brought to you by ExpressVPN, Pen Chalet, and Eero.
Myke Hurley: My name is Myke Hurley, I'm joined by Brad Dowdy, and ha ha ha, today is a Horror Stories episode. I feel like we need some kind of jingle for Horror Story episodes, because I always imagine that the logo is purple and black and something, right?
Speaker 02: Like, it's actually not orange, and we've got like a whole spooky vibe going on in July.
Horror Stories Intro
Brad Dowdy: Spooky July! Oh man, that would be perfect. We have to get on that. And if you're not familiar with Horror Stories, we'll link to previous episodes where we've talked about the Horror Stories. And we've started a Horror Stories Hall of Fame, which we have two entrants so far, Emil and David. And I have to apologise to them, they haven't gotten their t-shirts yet. I'd send t-shirts to everyone, Emil, you need to send me your address. And David, guess what, Myke? He sent me his address, but it got caught in my Horror Stories filter, because he was already a Horror Story. So I didn't look at it till yesterday, when I was going through the existing Horror Stories, that we still needed to discuss, and found his address. And it got looped in there. So my apologies. So we will get those out to everyone sooner rather than later. And we'll see if we induct any new entrants into the Horror Story Hall of Fame.
Speaker 02: And yeah, we actually, there is a Hall of Fame entry on the stationery.wiki, which is put together by Alexander, which details actually all of the, like a brief description of all of the Horror Story entrants on episode 329, 336, which has spent a great effort. Including the honorary people, but we also, like, sorry, who was honoured, like who won, so that's all in there. And so if you remember, David, David spilled the ink onto his mother's carpet and stained his foot blue, which was fantastic. And Emil was the person who injected themselves in their palm by accident with a platinum, thinking they were going to inject themselves with a platinum violet ink, but just narrowly missed. But still injected themselves, which is just fantastic and terrible and super dangerous. So therefore, an entrant into the Hall of Fame. So we're going to, this is the level we're working at, right? Also, David's, David's, I have not done justice to David's story. It is incredible and full of twists and turns, which was why we ended up awarding David with the first ever Horror Story, because it just gets worse and worse and worse. So that is what I'm looking at.
Brad Dowdy: So, and some of these are old entries that I've been sent, like some of these dates on these emails were like 2018. So this is only something we pick up every, you know, couple times a year. We'll read off some Horror Stories. So if you ever have any, send them my way, hello at penaddict.com. Put Horror Stories in the title. I do, like I said, I do filter those off so I make sure they get saved in the right place so we can read them on the show later. But before we get there, Myke, I did want to hit a topic I've been struggling with recently, if that's okay with you.
Speaker 02: It's your own personal horror story.
Brad Dowdy: It is my own personal horror story, but not really. This is not a bad, bad story. But we talk about agendas and planners and all of those things a lot on this show and how I generally don't do well with them. And I found one that really works for me. I've never made it through this far of a year in a planner before until this one. It's the Sumkin A5 agenda that I talk about all the time.
Brad Dowdy: And the reason why it works for me is because of the weekly layout. You know, the seven days on the left side of the page and the right page empty for notes.
Speaker 02: It's very beautiful.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, and it's, you know, it's soft covered. It comes in two, six months sections.
Brad Dowdy: And I'm having a problem, though. And I've always had this problem, and I've never chosen to solve it. You know, I've kind of ignored it and just kind of floundered. And, like, I can't afford to really flounder my time anymore. And the problem I have is I need a monthly view. And no matter what I find to use digitally for calendars, that does not work for me at all.
Speaker 02: Well, what is the monthly view? Like, what are you looking to see on a monthly view?
Brad Dowdy: I need to schedule things out further, like production schedules and...
Speaker 02: Right. So you want a big calendar, basically.
Brad Dowdy: Yes. Right. But I have to keep my weeks layout. And then I want, at a minimum, like a two-page per month layout.
Planner System Needs
Speaker 02: Right, yeah, because the weekly one is way more in-depth. You might be writing how you're feeling about something, writing about achievements, that kind of stuff. But the monthly view is, like, from this day to this day, something's going to be happening. And on this day, I have to go to see Jeff or, like, whatever, right? Like, it's just basically a big calendar is what you're looking for.
Brad Dowdy: Right. So I have my agenda. It's got all 52 weeks of the year, but I never write ahead. Right? Because I can't... It's not worth it for me to flip week to week to week to week to figure out what's going on in the future. That doesn't work. So I need... Can I get both of these things in an agenda? So that's the challenge. You want it only one book. Yes. Because I can get it in two books. And I will do that if I have to, to get what I want in a planner. What I want. I will do it if I have to. Because I can get my weekly layout that I like either in the Sumkin or Travelers also does that style, which is where I first found it. And then they also have a calendar, just a two-page-per-month calendar. But we're shockingly close to planner season, which is why I'm thinking about this now. Like all the orders for the 2020 planners are in, and they'll be arriving like in August and mostly September. Right? So I have to figure out, am I going back to some big, thick planner that I'm not going to like where it's like one day per page, which I despise, just to get the calendar that I want? Or do I go into a two-book layout to keep the weekly that I want and then have a separate calendar section, you know, either in like a smaller format?
Speaker 02: Well, the two-book could work for you. I mean, you already make a product that can quite handily look after two A5 notebooks, right?
Brad Dowdy: Right. And that's how I have it set up. Yeah. Yeah. Because like I have three softcover A5 notebooks in my seed case. That's how I carry the Sumkin. And then with an extra A5 Notco notebook in between just for blank notes. So yeah, it's like I don't know if what I want exists. Because like the calendars, like the bigger you get, the more complex they get, right? They have essentially what I call like a one of each layout, right? Like you get into the Hobonichis, like the cousins, it has literally every calendar option you could hope for. Like that's too much. And then my weekly agenda is now becoming too little for me because magically I've come to love and enjoy it, which I never thought would happen in a million years. So I got to figure out if there is some type of setup. You know, I'll be looking at a bunch of things. So as listeners go through planner season here in a couple months, keep me in mind. And if you see something, because there's so many, the options these days are endless on planners. So it's just something I wanted to throw out there.
Speaker 02: Maybe you should just make the Dowdy system.
Brad Dowdy: Right? Yeah. I know a guy.
Speaker 02: I've, you know, I felt recently that if you're unhappy with your planner system, just make your own.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah. I mean, that's not above me to do. It just seems, it just seems like it's so simple. Like it's got to be done. And I would like to not have it in two books, but maybe it is. But so maybe I just do it myself. I don't know. It's not. Yeah. I've thought about that. I've definitely thought about that. So we'll figure it out. I just wanted to bring that up because that's something that, you know, we've talked about in episodes past just of like scheduling and planners and plannings and how like.
Speaker 02: It's interesting because I could never imagine doing calendaring non-digitally. Yeah.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah. I never thought. Well, my digital calendars are too busy because they have family in them. Right. Right. And I don't like going in to like turn off the buttons to just what I want to see at the time. Right. I just keep all the buttons on and it's just too much. My stuff gets lost. Like my work stuff is not separated from my life stuff in the digital space.
Speaker 02: You know, actually, this isn't like we're talking about it in notebooks, but like something that I do for stuff like that is I have a second app of some description. Right.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah. So that's that's see, that's the solution that everything's coming to is two different things. Two is one. So, right. One is one. So I guess I'm just going to have to make it, but I'm holding out hope. I will keep on this path because something needs to change with my planning and my tasks and reminders and just for the way my life is set up. You know, I like I need to work on refining that and I need a longer term view to go in with my weekly view of of what I've got going right now. So something I'm working on. So I just thought I'd bring that up so listeners can can help me out when they run across the eight million planners that'll be coming out in the next couple of months. Maybe there's going to be one that will fit will be an all in one for me, but I'm not holding out hope and I may just like settle for the two, which there's nothing wrong with that either, because then it's just more stuff to use, which I'm good with.
Sponsor Break
Speaker 02: All right. Today's episode is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Look, you may think the cyber crime is something that happens to other people. You may think, hey, nobody wants my data or that people can't grab it when there's like when there's bad, bad people around. But you could be wrong because stealing data from unsuspecting people on public Wi-Fi is actually one of the simplest and cheapest ways for for uncustomary people to make money. When you leave your Internet connection unencrypted, you could basically be putting your information out into the world like it's it is not a good idea to be using unencrypted Wi-Fi connections. ExpressVPN secures and anonymizes your Internet browsing by encrypting your data and hiding your public IP address. This is why I use ExpressVPN whenever I connect to any public Wi-Fi. I just want the peace of mind and it's so easy to use. They have fantastic apps that run seamlessly in the background of your computer, phone or tablet. You can just turn it on with one click and then you can safely surf on public Wi-Fi without being snooped on or having any of your information stolen. For less than $7 a month, you can get the same ExpressVPN protection that I have. And it is rated the number one VPN service by TechRadar. It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee as well. So it's just always there. It's on my phone, my iPad, my laptop. Whenever I'm traveling, I just turn ExpressVPN on when I leave. I turn it off and I come home again. And I'm happy that I've been protected and had the added layer with me whenever I'm moving around. You can protect your online activity today and find out how you can get three months for free at expressvpn.com slash penaddict. That is exprssvpn.com slash penaddict. That's exprssvpn.com slash penaddict for three months free of a one-year package. So just go to expressvpn.com slash penaddict to learn more today. Take back your privacy of ExpressVPN. Our thanks to ExpressVPN for their support of this show and RelayFM.
Brad Dowdy: We ready for story time?
Speaker 02: Yeah, let me go first. So this one comes from Kelly. Kelly says, I am a weird pen person from Montana. And when you talk about your pen horror stories, I had to send in this one. I put it in the Inksplosion category under the subcategory of Eyedropper Noob. I had recently purchased a Gamma ES pen. What is that? Maybe it's Gamma Eyes. Maybe it's just a typo. Okay. I still don't know what that is. From FPR, when my wife and I traveled to northern Alberta, Canada during the summer of 2017 for a special event. Although I had never used an Eyedropper pen before, I liked that the pen was completely made of ebonite. And had that matte black kind of handmade look to it. And the price was a good place to start. I decided to bring the pen on the trip with us. Not even giving a second thought to the possibility of an inky disaster. Why would you, right? You're just taking your pen out with you all in a day. It's no problem. Yeah, no big deal. The drive north from Montana into Canada took us through the Banff and Jasper National Parks. And I think it's one of the most breathtakingly scenic drives you could ever take in North America. But I think it also contributed to coming from Fountain Pen Foible. The event... It also contributed to the coming Fountain Pen Foible is what I should say. The event we were traveling to was a religious one. And we had arrangements to stay with a couple whom we'd never met before. Oh dear. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, I don't like the sound of this. And we'd only corresponded via email. That detail, right? Like that detail we'd never met before. It's like we're setting up the awkwardness. Okay. Obviously, we were somewhat apprehensive about this. But fortunately, we had a lot in common and hit it off with him straight away. That seems good so far. However, the morning after we arrived, I decided to use my new pen. I sat in the bed. Oh, God. I unscrewed the cap and proceeded to spill probably two milliliters of black ink, some on my lap, but most of it falling right onto the white bedspread. I suppose it could have been worse. At least I didn't spill ink on a priceless family heirloom. And our new friends were completely kind and understanding about the whole thing. I found out later that the husband had a fountain pen that he uses from time to time as well. I mean, they're Canadian, so I probably could have burned their house down and they would have apologized to us for our clothes getting all smoky. But I still feel like a complete idiot. We went to Walmart that afternoon to buy some uninked bedding. Looking back, I think the beautiful mountains that we drove through and over-likely created enough of a change in pressure to force out most of the ink into the substantially-sized barrel of the pen and the cap. I learned my lesson. And while I love writing with the pen, I do not travel with it. Thanks for the show. I look forward to it every week, even though my wife thinks I'm the biggest nerd on the planet. Well, if that's the case, imagine being the wife of someone who makes this show. I think that makes you a little bit more nerdy. So, this is terrible. It's not terrible enough.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, I mean, I agree. But I just sit here like this 100% could happen to any of us. Oh, yeah. I mean, this is like everyone's worst fear traveling with a fountain pen. Now, I haven't driven through lots of elevation to know what would affect that and how it would affect that. I'd be interesting to know. We have some of our listeners. I know a lot of our listeners live at elevation. I wonder if they experience changes if they're having to make that type of travel in a single day carrying like a fountain pen and how it would change it. I would imagine there's certainly some. And I just can't imagine the color of red my face would be when I had to go tell the guests who I just met the night before what I had just done to their spilling the ink on the bed sheet. That would be like the next ink I do. Brad's face on fire, I guess, would be the next ink color because that would be rough. But amazing story from Kelly. Not a horror story. Hall of Fame. I vote a long line with you. But, man, I would be just ill. I would be ill.
Speaker 02: Maybe if you dumped it on the carpet, we might be getting there. Right? Because the bed spread can be replaced. Or if, in fact, it was like the family comforter that had been passed down from generation to generation.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, like the grandma's quilt. Exactly. That would have been brutal.
Speaker 02: That she made by hand. Unfortunately, grandma passed. And you were going to the funeral of grandma. Oh, my gosh. Right? This is how we're getting there. Don't give people ideas. Don't give people ideas. Okay. This is how we're getting there.
Brad Dowdy: They'll be panicking the next time they're using their fountain pens. And we don't want that. We don't want that. All right. You ready for me? Yes. All right. I haven't looked at this picture yet, so we'll have to pull this up when I get to it. Yeah. I've opened it, but I haven't looked. All right. This is from Jim. It says, I should have sent this story a good while back, but figured this might race to the top of the pile. Jim, you know me pretty well. And I think this email is from 2018, so let me know how that worked out for you. It says, so a few months back, I bought an Omos 360 Meso from Burt Ozer through Slack. I bought it knowing ahead of time that the nib was out of alignment with the triangular grip the 360 is famous for, and that it was a cartridge-only pen, figuring I could adjust it myself or just sell it for break-even or minimal loss since the price was super good. Well, a few months later, I decided its cartridge system was too much of a hassle. Well, here are some pics, so we'll put the pics in the show notes, and I got to look at the damage that Jim is doing here. All right, so you can see the misaligned nib and the chassis the cartridge fits into. Fast forward a few months, and I took decision to sell it, but I decided it would be easier if the nib was aligned. I'm not sure if you've ever tried to remove an Omos feed, but it's incredibly hard, and even more so since the feed is usually made of ebonite. Compound this with what is likely plenty of caked ink, and, well, I had a struggle on my hands. After hours of futzing with a rubber grip, warm water, and buckets of elbow grease, I finally got the nib out and properly aligned. The problem? I ruined the piston used by the cartridge chassis. It was essentially not threaded anymore. What's worse is that I tried to use some shellac to get the rear knob to fit the screw. All that did was crack the rear housing, so I was hosed, and I ultimately just gifted the pin as is to my good friend Ralph, who was staying at my place at the time. Lesson learned. Be aware. Pin disassembly. So this is cringeworthy on many levels, and I feel Jim's pain here. It's like, so I come at this perspective kind of like Jim. It's like, you know, I'm an experienced fountain pen user. You know, I'm not a professional. I know what I'm doing. I'm not a professional repairman, but I know what I'm doing. And I can fix this, right? The first thing that always freaks me out is nibs that are more set in their barrels, like this Omos that Jim had. Me, personally, it's like my pilot and sailor nibs. I never pull those out because I'm just scared of the pressure I'm going to have to impact on them. I get scared every time.
Pen Usage Anxiety
Speaker 02: Every time I have to do something like this. Like, it doesn't matter what the pen is. Like, I always feel like I'm putting more pressure on it than it wants, you know?
Brad Dowdy: Right. And people who get paid to do this, they have the tools and the expertise to manage this. And I just look at what Jim's done here. He didn't just, like, fix a damaged nib. He managed to ruin every single part of the pen, pretty much.
Speaker 02: Yeah, if it moves, he broke it.
Brad Dowdy: So, I don't know. I think once Jim got started, like, there was no stopping until it was just in crumbles at this point. And I get it. It's like, I get it. I've been there. And I just get frustrated. Like, I know one time I just chucked a pen straight in the trash. I was like, forget it. Like, I broke it well enough to where it was going to, like, cost more than the pen was worth to fix it. And I just tossed it. Like, I get it. So, this is something that we can all relate to. And not a Hall of Famer, though. Not a horror story Hall of Famer.
Speaker 02: Because it's going to happen to too many people. Well. I feel like the horror stories, they need, there's got to be something about them where it feels a little bit unique. You know? Yeah. Right? Where, like, I know that I would just destroy this pen if I was given it, too.
Brad Dowdy: So, like, everything that Jim just said, I would have totally done. Right? Including, like, every bit of damage. Like, I would have absolutely done 100% of this.
Speaker 02: Yeah. Feel for you, Jim. But, uh, I don't know what you would have needed to do. But there was something else in there that would have elevated it to horror story status. A Hall of Fame status. A horror story it is. A Hall of Fame.
Brad Dowdy: Oh, it's for sure a horror story. Because he lost whatever he paid for that. For sure.
Speaker 02: And the pen. Right? Like, you lost the money and the pen. All gone. True. Today's episode is brought to you by Pen Chalet. They sell authentic, amazing roller balls, fountain pens, ballpoints, mechanical pencils, and so much more. They have all of your favorite brands. Brands like Pelican and Lamy, Kaweco and Sailor. They're an authorized dealer of all of them. And they're always adding new pens. New styles of pens. New different accessories as well. It's not just about the pens themselves. Pen Chalet have limited edition inks and pens. Right? And accessories. Carrying cases. Pen holders. Refills. Converters. And so much more. They do free shipping on orders of over $50 in the U.S. And sell internationally with very reasonable shipping rates. Pen Chalet has low prices and high quality pens. And offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee. So, go right now to penchalet.com. P-E-N-C-H-A-L-E-T dot com. And click the podcast link at the top of the website. And use the password penaddict. This is where you'll be able to get yourself a code to save 10% on anything at Pen Chalet at any time. We're always talking about the deals that we have, right? And Ron and the Pen Chalet crew do a wonderful job of giving us extra special things to talk about every couple of weeks. But if you're buying any type of pen, you're buying any type of ink, anything that you need, go to Pen Chalet first and see if they have it. And if they do, you can get 10% off at any time by using the code that they set up for us in that special place. Now, the offers this week, we have a great selection. But it's one of those things where we can't talk about it. So, you're going to have to go check it out for yourself. Go to PenChalet.com, P-E-N-C-H-A-L-E-T dot com. Click the podcast link at the top of the website. Enter the password penaddict to get the code and to feast your eyes on the very special offers we have from Pen Chalet this time. Thank you so much to Pen Chalet for the continued support of this show and RelayFM.
Brad Dowdy: So, for this next one, I'm going to let you read. But I just want to clarify that the Anthony in this pen, in this pen, in this horror story, is our good friend Anthony from Everyday Commentary and Gear Geeks Live. So, keep that in mind when talking about this. So, this is a good one. Although, I haven't read all the details because I said, okay, let me stop now. So, go for it.
Speaker 02: This is a big one. So, sit down, everyone. All right. I thought I would share this pen horror story with you. It's a bit different from the normal pen destruction story, like we just had, but I thought it might fit anyway. Being a public defender is a tough gig. Low pay, lots of cases, and very disadvantaged clients. In many cases, I was dealing with mental illness first and criminal charges second. In one particular case, I spent years helping a client that was as challenging and as mentally unfortunately ill as any I have ever had the opportunity to work with. This particular gentleman possessed an outsized personality. He wore red sequined chaps to court once. He professed his love for one of the female prosecutors and almost got into a fistfight defending her honor after another defendant was not so happy with the plea offer that was given. He brought his pet iguana to court claiming it was a seeing eye iguana, a colorful fellow. But underneath all of that was someone that simply couldn't stay out of his own way. He genuinely liked and cared for people, but often his anxiety and anger would bubble up and bad things would happen. You get clients for life in the line that I do. So every time he would get into a scuffle or yell and scream and get charged with disorderly conduct, he came back to me. I knew where his triggers were and I tried to navigate the system with him to avoid those triggers. He and I developed a rapport, probably because I jumped into a dumpster one time to help him when he was threatening to take his own life. That's wild. This story has got a bunch of twists already. All right. Yep. One thing that he found fascinating was my pen collection. In particular, he loved fountain pens and I would often let him use them and even gave one to him once because he enjoyed it so much. One day when he was pleading guilty to yet another disorderly conduct, he was very nervous. He had a rough night on the streets the night before and he came to court like a live wire. After negotiating with the clerk for a delayed stay time to his hearing, I took him into a conference room so he could calm down. I was carrying my pilot vanishing point at the time. He knew it was my favorite pen, so when I let him use it, he was very happy. After about half an hour, he calmed down enough to do the plea. At this point, he and I have been client and lawyer for about three years. The judges knew him well and knew that he was my client. In New Hampshire, in order to do a plea, you need a form called an Acknowledgement and Waiver of Rights. This form spells out all of the rights someone has at a trial and tells the court that they are giving them up in exchange for a plea deal. Both the lawyer and the client have to sign the form. As we get into court, the prosecutor is dealing with a bunch of cases and we have already completed the form. We are going in front of the toughest judge in the state to do this plea. He is the kind of judge that tells defendants, I am like the Marines. No better friend, no worse enemy. You do what you promised me you are going to do and you will get all the mercy the court system has to offer. You lie to me and you better bring your own toothbrush. Jails in New Hampshire do not, for whatever reason, provide toothbrushes and the ones in the commissary are terrible. Hence, most people that go to jail are instructed to bring your own toothbrush. And it has become an idiom for going to jail. The judge made my client very nervous all of the time. As we step up to the table, the prosecutor says he is missing my client's file. I volunteer to go to the prosecutor's office and get it so he can process other cases and to keep the judge happy and get the client out of the anxiety-inducing situation as fast as possible. I leave the client, the form, and my vanishing point at counsel table and grab the file. When I come back, I turn in the form without looking at it, having completed the form about 30 minutes prior. I hand the file to the prosecutor and the form to the court and return to the counsel table. When I get back, I notice that my vanishing point's nib is out. Thinking nothing of it, I click the knock and put the vanishing point back in my breast pocket. The judge begins the process of going through the form with the client, reviewing in stern and precise terms the rights the client is waiving and the sentence he is agreeing to, which is mostly to get some kind of mental health treatment. He marches through the form like Sherman towards Atlanta, hammering on each right and eliciting a meek yes, your honor from my client at appropriate times. He flips to the back page of the form where the client and I both sign and he pauses. His eyes widen to a saucer size. Then, like the rumbling of an earthquake pre-shock, he starts at a low pitch of a sentence of fury. Mr. Scullendrine, did you see this form? I reply, yes, your honor. I helped fill him out. So, is this your idea of a joke? I don't know what you mean, your honor. Then, with a snarl that matches one of a tiger on the prowl, he beckons me and the prosecutor to the bench. There, he reveals that the signatory page of the form and around my client's signature and my own in beautiful stub italic handwriting are the letters BFF. And there is a massive Cupid heart with an arrow and a plus sign that envelopes my client's signature on my own. The judge lays into me for about a minute and I stand there dumbfounded trying to figure out how and where the graffiti got on the form. Then, I remember the nib being out on my vanishing point. Still, I am never going to throw my client under the bus so I don't say anything and endure a withering barrage from the judge. Finally, after about 90 seconds, my client speaks up from the council table 10 feet behind me. He tells the judge that he did it and that he just wanted the court to know that he thought I was a good guy. The judge mellows out a bit and tells us to do a new form but that he would accept the plea. Five minutes later, new form in hand and vanishing point carefully guarded. We do the plea and leave the courthouse.
Speaker 02: I'm dying. Now, that is a friggin' story.
Brad Dowdy: Anthony can tell a story. Tony is just an awesome dude and I didn't know where this was going. Like you said, I kind of skim over just to kind of get a general idea.
Story Details
Brad Dowdy: I had no idea that's what contained, was contained in this email. I am astonished at the story. I'm astonished at the links that Tony goes to to protect his clients. I'm astonished that it wasn't just like scribble junk notes on there. That's the best part.
Speaker 02: I thought it was just going to be something but the BFF was perfect.
Brad Dowdy: That the client like genuinely loved Tony and was just making, that was his way of showing it on a very legal and precious document that had to be presented to the judge. That's a Hall of Famer for me.
Speaker 02: I'm teetering on one point.
Speaker 02: That the act is actually a sweet one. That doesn't seem to make it horror to me.
Brad Dowdy: It might have been for Tony. Got dressed down from the marine level judge. Tony had to stand there and take the daggers.
Speaker 02: So I'm going to make a, we're going to make a slight amendment to the rules here maybe. For me, I would be willing to put this in the Hall of Fame purely based on how fantastic the story is. And I think that's fair. Right.
Brad Dowdy: I mean, yeah.
Speaker 02: That is a beautifully told story.
Brad Dowdy: And like the result was not what I thought.
Speaker 02: Nope.
Brad Dowdy: And if you're the one standing there, you're having a horror story moment. Like it may not be like in rewriting to us as we read it, but in the moment and you don't know how the judge is going to react to, you know, how the judge is going to react to the results of the case when like your client's, you know, well-being is on the line because of some joke that was written on the page about Tony being his BFF. Let's do it. I imagine that was a horror story for Tony. You've sold it.
Speaker 02: You've sold it to me. You've sold it for me.
Brad Dowdy: So like us, it's funny, but I imagine like if I was in Tony's shoes, I'd like, I'd be going home to change my underwear, right?
Myke Hurley: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well then,
Speaker 02: congratulations, Tony. I hope it was all worth it for you. You're now in the Pen Addict Horror Stories Hall of Fame. Mm-hmm.
Brad Dowdy: Just think these, these emails have been sitting in my inbox for like six to nine months and I've never read them. That was just like, I feel bad that we've been sitting on that story for a while. It's without the way.
Brad Dowdy: You know, one of the things about the, the Hall of Fame, the Horror Story Hall of Fame is we never know what the next story is going to be, Myke. So you never know how many inductees we have. And this wasn't equally, well, maybe not as lengthy, but this one's from Audrey and I'm going to get into it. So you ready for this? I'm ready. The day had finally come. I had just received my first two fountain pens in ink. Two Lamy All-Stars in the colors Pacific Blue and Apple Green. Of the inks I bought, I found that my favorite color is Noodler's Black Swan and Australian Roses. In the Apple Green Lamy with a medium nib, this combination scratched my brand new to fountain pen self in all the right places. I proceeded to write letters and practice handwriting in general whenever my then one and a half year old daughter and her little brother left me to have some time. Fast forward a few weeks. My daughter had to vacate the crib a few days earlier since her little brother was growing fast and no longer fit in the cradle next to my bed. She could now get out of her big girl bed on her own and was very excited to come get morning cuddles from mommy. I must have fallen back back to sleep for an hour, half hour, for a half hour or so. Suddenly woke up with my mom's senses tingling. This is like so true so far. This is totally how these things happen when your kids get their own their own big kid bed. They can now roam freely and your parents' spidey senses just go berserk. It was too quiet. I got up and checked on my son in the kid's room. No problems there. He was happily playing in the crib. But where was that little girl? In my haste to figure out what was making mommy radar go off, I had missed her when I walked past the craft room. There she was, sitting on the floor with a purple smile on her face. I picked her up off the floor, looked at the bottle in her hand and thought, call Poison Control. That is what one does in these situations, right? I found Poison Control's number off the internet and called, my daughter just drank fountain pen ink, I said to the person on the other end. Do you know what's in the ink? She replied, no, I said, find out what's in the ink and call us back if anything in it is dangerous. So I called Goulet Pens from who I had ordered said ink. Hello, Goulet Pens, may I help you? My daughter just drank Noodler's Black Swan and Australian Roses. I need to know if there's anything in the ink that could hurt her. I told the woman on the other end. Oh, God. Oh, wow. Oh, God.
Customer Service
Speaker 02: Can I've, okay, we have to pause here for a minute. Okay. I have worked in customer service jobs.
Speaker 02: You can never be ready for what is going to be given to you. I feel so sorry for the individual at Goulet Pens who had to pick up this phone call and deal with this situation because you are in now an incredibly high-pressure environment that you didn't ask to be in. So you're expecting to be dealing with shipping complaints, right? Like, that is what you're there to do. To answer that phone and, like, immediately be thrust into this incredibly important high-pressure environment where you need to do what is asked of you, that is just, it's terrible. That's terrible.
Ink Incident Recap
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, that's rough. And the mom's, like, freaking out too, right? Like, she's trying to get all the answers, like, right now.
Speaker 02: Because she is a concerned mother, you must give the right answer and nothing else is acceptable.
Brad Dowdy: All right, so let's see how this goes. All right. So, oh, wow, she responded, surprise, I believe that Noodlers uses mostly natural ingredients in their inks, but here's the number for them so you can ask them directly. As my daughter played happily with her own toys, Oh, that was perfectly dealt with, by the way. She's like, not my problem, see ya.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, I mean, you can't go down for that. I proceeded to make my third call of the day before 9 a.m. Hello, Noodlers Inc., the man said to answer my call. Hello, my daughter just drank Black Swan and Australian Roses. I'm trying to figure out if there's anything in this ink that could hurt her. Thankfully, he gave me the answer I was hoping for. My daughter would be fine, but might have some interesting looking bowel movements, I thought, as I hung up the phone. Now, you may be wondering why I did not convey more distress that my daughter had just drank my favorite ink, which, since trying a few others, is still my favorite and continues to make its home in that beautifully contrasting apple green pen. I'd only bought samples of inks with my new pens, and that sample bottle from Goulet Penco was only half full when she drank it in the first place. I hope this revelation is not too disappointing. Heck no, it's not. It's happy. It makes me much, much happier because I did not realize that and I didn't even think that. I did not go there at all. Obviously, I'm not a Hall of Famer. Well, we'll be the judge of that, but my story still makes me laugh whenever I think about it and hope you will get a chuckle out of it too. I have since bought a full-size bottle of my favorite color and it abides on a high shelf behind the baby gate that now stays in the doorway of my craft room at all times.
Brad Dowdy: Oh my gosh. That was stressful. That was super stressful. I would have done the exact same thing in that situation
Myke Hurley: and freaked completely out even though it now makes sense why she didn't totally go. You can tell she didn't just totally go crazy and panicking. If it was the full bottle, she'd be in the car. She'd be at the emergency room door. There would be no phone calls
Brad Dowdy: until after the fact. Right? Yeah. So now it hits me that okay, it was probably just a sample vial and maybe it's just a little taster, a little taster of ink. But man, that's scary. Oh man, I'd be freaking out. Yeah, I'd probably be in the car on the way to like the emergency room and then calling like after the fact
Myke Hurley: trying to figure out okay, what's in this thing that could be harmful. Thankfully, nothing was. Baby's okay. Mom's okay. I'm stressed out after reading that, Myke. I think it will affect you more than me, right?
Speaker 02: Because I'm not a parent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you have to be a parent to like fully understand the gravity of that situation. Like I can understand it but I don't, I can't like, I can't feel it so viscerally as you were feeling it right now.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah. It's the description like before you even get to the ink about the kids like wandering around the house without any barriers. Like when that transition happens, that will freak you out for months. Right, see, I haven't got that, right?
Speaker 02: Like I've never had that. So I'm gonna, I am agreeing with Audrey basically, the bottle wasn't big enough
Myke Hurley: for Hall of Fame. Like, I know that's like a terrible thing to say but like, that's the situation, right? If it was a full bottle, if we're talking like an Ackerman ink, right? With, that's, you know, you're going in
Speaker 02: because that's like, you got a stomach pump going on there. Like,
Brad Dowdy: you know, yeah, if that's the situation, we're probably not getting this story. So I'm glad it had like, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 02: here's the deal.
Brad Dowdy: You gotta get your stomach pumped. That's kind of where we're at for Hall of Fame. No, like, that's what I'm saying is like, no one's going to tell us that story because that is just bad. Like, we don't want to hear that. Oh, maybe. Maybe. Oh, gosh. I'm, I'm stressed out. That was a good story, Audrey. I appreciate that. That was, thank you for sharing that because hey, it's hard to share those things, you know, when you're a parent and like, we all do it. Like, it is, it's just going to happen and fortunately in this situation, everything was fine.
Topic Shift - New Story
Speaker 02: All right, should we do one more before we take a break?
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, this is, I think, the short one of the day but I think it's relatable in the general sense but I'm going to make you read it because I will enjoy you reading this.
Speaker 02: I've already scanned across it and I don't want to read it. I'm definitely not reading it the way it's written.
Speaker 02: This is from Sarah. Sarah, I've been meaning to write this in for some time to tell you this story with one of the grossest things, well, to ask actually, what is the grossest thing that's ever happened to one of your pens but instead, I'm going to tell my horror story instead. Okay, I'm a nurse so I have to deal with bodily fluids and such every time I work. The following story is why I can't bring nice pens to work. Many of our patients get out of bed so we help them use a bedpan. They can't get out of bed so we help them use a bedpan. Well, I just helped a patient off the bedpan after a usage. As I leaned over the bathroom toilet to empty the bedpan, my pen slipped out of my scrub top pocket and into the bedpan. Needless to say, this pen is a goner. In case you were curious, it was a Pilot Acroball 4, nothing too fancy. Thank goodness it wasn't because I wasn't going to get it back.
Brad Dowdy: I'm glad you got to read that one. This is for real though. Like, anytime you, like, I've always carried my pens, especially like when I was in the office, I wasn't, you know, cleaning out bedpans, but I always carried my pen in my shirt pocket, right? And you lean over to pick something up, that thing falls out. Luckily, I've never had one fall out in an irretrievable situation like this. it's, I imagine the hospital plumbing system is filled with many pens from this type of situation and that is just not something I want to be involved in. Yeah,
Speaker 02: there are certain industries where using really expensive pens must be difficult and this has got to be one of them. Yeah,
Brad Dowdy: so, to end this on a good note, for all you hospital workers, the Pilot Acroball is a great choice for pen. It's just like the Uniball Jetstream that I recommend and you will enjoy it as long as you can hang on to it. Not a Hall of Famer. No, not a Hall of Famer.
Speaker 02: Not a Hall of Famer. Very difficult situation. Pen wasn't expensive enough. Pen was not expensive enough to get into the Hall of Fame. Today's episode is brought to you by Eero, the folk who built the Wi-Fi system that they wanted everyone to have in their homes, which would give all of Eero's customers a fast, reliable connection in every single room, even out to the backyard. It starts with the second generation Eero device, which has three 5 GHz radios. This allows for huge range and very fast speeds. Everything increased. It sits flat on any surface and connects over Ethernet or wirelessly and then your connection can be expanded throughout your entire home by adding in Eero beacons. These are little devices that plug directly into your wall, allowing you to reach every single corner of your home. They even have something now called Eero Plus, which you can use for total network protection to block malicious content. It has advanced security that checks sites against a database to check that they're safe. They have content blocking so you can choose what your kids can and cannot visit right within the Eero app. They have ad blocking to get rid of annoying ads and pop-ups and access to third-party security apps like Encrypt.me, 1Password, and Malwarebytes. With Eero, you can install an enterprise-grade Wi-Fi system in your home in just a few minutes. And if you ever need them, Eero has incredible customer support on hand to help as well. Brad, do you want to tell me something about using Eero?
Brad Dowdy: The parental controls that it offers is the thing that I've mentioned in the past that I enjoy immensely. Being a parent to a soon-to-be 11-year-old and 13-year-old, they are into all kinds of stuff and all kinds of trouble at all hours of the day. that's mostly controlled by myself and my wife, but sometimes you can't control everything except the hours of day they can access the internet and Eero lets me set up a zone for their devices in like two seconds to set up and it says at nine o'clock you can no longer access the Wi-Fi network and it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 02: Yeah, I feel like just a helping hand, right? That's what you want. Just a helping hand.
Brad Dowdy: You know what else I enjoy about Eero? I enjoy that their little beacons have nightlights on them. This is a silly thing, but I enjoy it every time. It's like an added benefit, right? I'm the last one to go to bed every night, so like all the lights are off as I'm making my way from the living room to the bedroom, but there's a little beacon on my way that way I don't run into the table.
Speaker 02: Never think about Wi-Fi again or worry about looking into the table. Get $100 off the Eero base unit and two beacons package and one year of Eero Plus by going to Eero.com slash pen and at checkout enter the code pen. That's E-E-R-O dot com slash pen and the code pen, P-E-N. Thanks to Eero for their support of this show and all of RelayFM.
Listener Email
Brad Dowdy: All right, I'm going to take this next one, Myke, from Roland. He says, first off, I wanted to share with you a major accomplishment in my life. As of your last episode, which for all we know, Myke, could be like episode 290, depending on how old this email is. I have listened to every single episode of The Pen Addict. How appropriate to celebrate by sending you a disaster story. I've been into fountain pens on and off since the 90s. I picked up a full-fledged addiction about four years ago. Throughout all this time, I only used blue and black inks. A little over a year ago, I decided to expand my ink world and look for a green ink. I settled on a bottle of Noodler's Grin Cactus. I purchased it from Amazon in large part because I could get free same-day delivery. Being a Friday, I simply could not wait through the weekend. No, I needed the ink. Now. I got the delivery notice while I was still at the office, so I wrapped up as quickly as I could to get home early because I had an evening event at my church. It was an event I couldn't miss because my wife and I were two of the coordinators. I get home and there's an Amazon box. I went to the dining room table and started opening it up. I couldn't be bothered to sit down. I took the white Noodler's box out of the bubble wrap and turned it on its side to look at the Noodler's artwork. It's great as always. I opened the box to take out the bottle. That's when I felt something on my hand. I thought, that's weird. Now where's my ink? Then I heard the liquid splash in the floor. After about 10 minutes, at least it felt like 10 minutes, I realized that the bottle was broken and that I would soon have a green floor unless I acted soon. I ran to the kitchen sink to figure out what happened. It was about that time my wife got home.
Brad Dowdy: While tolerant, she is not exactly supportive of my hobby. I could see that this was not going to help things. After a quick discussion, she was on her way to our event and I started the cleanup. Sounds like he got off pretty easy there. We'll see how this goes. I should also mention I was wearing a brand new suit when this debacle occurred. A new gray suit, which now had a streak of green. Oh, dear. As I scrubbed the floor, the counter, and the sink, I called Amazon. I wish I could say I was polite, but I wasn't. After much discussion, I was appeased with a full refund of my order, not just the ink, and a promise of a $100 credit to replace any damage done. The cleanup was more successful than I expected. The ceramic tile and kitchen floor cleaned up well, except for the grout, which to this day still has a hint of green. There are pictures for this, Myke, that I have linked. I got about six or seven of them. I linked a couple of the more intense ones. The kitchen counter still had some faint green spots until we replaced them this month. Some stains on the cabinets never came out and serve as a reminder that patience and care are virtues. My dry cleaner was able to save my suit and a half dozen washing machine cycles with various mixes of cleaners, soaps, and spot removers was able to save my shirt. My hands remained green for two days. There's definitely a hand picture.
Speaker 02: Yeah, I got it.
Brad Dowdy: Photos are attached of some of the damage as well as the broken cap that was the cause of it all. After the cleanup and a change of clothes, I went to the church event. Of course, my wife tried to explain my tardiness, but as soon as my hands were seen, I would hear the question, green? It's worth mentioning that the Amazon rep was apparently ignorant to her authority or just lied to me to get me off the phone when I got the refund. The $100 credit never materialized, and in case you're wondering, I was able to salvage about half the bottle. I hope you enjoyed my disaster. I didn't enjoy your disaster. That was a bad disaster, Roland, but I feel for you. Like, there's nothing more scary than shipping ink, I think. When you combine that with Noodlers in particular who fills the ink bottle to the 99.99% of airspace within the bottle, any dings, dents, rustling, shaking, shimmering in transport is going to maybe lead to these extreme things happening. I also wonder if that same day shipping, how much that bottle was physically thrown through the air for it to arrive in its destination. Now, I actually think Roland is underselling the damage that this caused. Yeah. Did you see these pictures?
Speaker 02: Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad. It's everywhere.
Brad Dowdy: So, the cap is clearly cracked, right? So, that came, it had to have come during shipping. It looks like, you know, that's not something you're going to do yourself right after the fact, right? When you open the box, it's just going to come gushing out. His hands are literally like Hulk green, like, not splashed. we'll put some of these pictures in the show notes.
Brad Dowdy: The amount of ink that is on the floor and the wall, I can't believe there's still a half a bottle of ink.
Speaker 02: What I can't work out is how did the spots in the kitchen get there?
Brad Dowdy: You see, there's like that big epicenter. The running of the bottle from the table to the sink would be my guess. Not that he said specifically, but that's where I would be taking it. If I opened up a package and it just started gushing, I'm running to where I can release the entire bottle from my grasp probably into the sink. So there's, it's almost, it's green, but if it was red, it would look like a murder scene, right? I mean, that's how bad this looked.
Speaker 02: It's very bad. It's very, very bad. Can you imagine standing and somebody coming into the room and seeing this? Like,
Brad Dowdy: no, I, like, I can't, I, I guess his wife probably made the right move by just leaving, letting him to clean it instead of like dealing with this nonsense that had just transpired. But this is an outrageous amount of ink spill.
Ink Spill Discussion
Speaker 02: This is without a doubt the worst spill that we've seen, I think. Yeah. Or at least it goes,
Brad Dowdy: it goes up pretty close. The words do not do what transpired justice in my book.
Speaker 02: Yeah. So what do you think? It's pretty close with David, right? I think. like, um, hmm, but we didn't really get to see the level of damage. I greatly appreciate an individual, because this would be like me, who would be dealing with this situation, but stopped to take a picture.
Speaker 02: Yeah, because I would do that. like, there's clearly a lot more work to be done, but David said it was clearly a lot more work to be done, but we like, there was just a time where it's like, no, you know what? I'm going to take this picture and I greatly appreciate Roland for doing that.
Brad Dowdy: I'm with you. Go ahead. I'm with you. I think it's a no, but I can't tell you why. Like, this is bad. It's really bad.
Speaker 02: You know what, though? Coupling it with then going somewhere. With Hulk hands? Yeah, I think that might tip it for me, you know, because it's not just the,
Speaker 02: because you know he went to that event with the stained
Brad Dowdy: suit as well, right? Yeah, I got a picture of the suit. Suit's not too bad. It's like a big green streak down his leg and his shirt. I mean, it's relative. I mean, relative to the rest of the pictures, it's not bad. It's still bad.
Brad Dowdy: What I like about the floor cleanup picture is that it's like half scrubbed and he said, screw it, I'm taking a picture. Like, it's not fresh, but it's not even remotely cleaned up, but you can tell he like wiped the center of it with a towel. So he had to grab his hand with his phone with green hands too.
Brad Dowdy: I don't know. He could be rolling Hulk hands, you know, for, I mean, I don't know. It's up to you. Like, I'm good either way. This is a lot. I mean, I don't know that I've ever seen an ink spill quite this widespread.
Ink Spill Standards
Speaker 02: I think we need to set like a baseline for how bad an ink spill needs to be. Right? And I think this might be it. I think that's fair. Right? Like, so, because I feel like we're establishing a trend, right? Like, you can't just spill ink. There has to be something else. Right? David had it. David spilled it on his foot. Right? Roland spilled ink literally everywhere in his home, covered his hands, and then had to go to an event. Like, that feels it for me, man. I feel like we've got the trifecta of things there for what is like, yeah, I'm on board. I didn't think I'd want to give two Hall of Fame entries in one episode, but this is pretty much it for me, man.
Brad Dowdy: All right, Roland, welcome to the Hall of Fame. You have set the standards of ink spills for, all future Hall of Fames. We can say, can it meet? And I did, like I said, there's like four more pictures I have. I just enjoyed the wildest ones. I feel like ink spills have to
Speaker 02: have
Brad Dowdy: photos.
Speaker 02: Yeah,
Brad Dowdy: and they're the most common, right?
Speaker 02: Yeah, if you don't have a photo, you're not going to get into the Hall of Fame. Yeah, I need
Brad Dowdy: to see it. We've all spilled !
Brad Dowdy: For some reason, I was coming back from either the Atlanta Penn Show or coming back from Knock, and I had a bottle of ink in the back of my car, like in the trunk area, but not in a box, necessarily. It was just kind of sitting there, or sitting in something and not very secured, so when I opened the trunk, the bottle flipped out right into the driveway and just busted. That's no big deal, right? It was in the driveway, it's outside, and I can hose it off. There's still a green mark from there. That's the only time I've ever done anything crazy bad, and fortunately it was outside in an easy clean-up-able spot. But yeah, golly, if I did this, I can't imagine what kind of trouble I would be in.
Speaker 02: I think that our partners are very forgiving, but that's next level, man. This one is. If I did this, I wouldn't want to be just like, forgiven. I have to earn that, right? Because you have ruined the home, right? And as Roland said, there is still remnants of that ink in the home.
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, chat's reminding me that I did drop part of a shelf of Vanus ink. It's not the same, though. Yeah, it's not the same. Sure, but it's not
Speaker 02: like your own personal spill. It's like a different thing. Yeah,
Brad Dowdy: I haven't had a horror story level spill. This is the bar for horror story spills, I think, right? I think so.
Show Conclusion
Speaker 02: All right, should we wrap it up there?
Brad Dowdy: Yeah, let's wrap it up there. If people have horror stories, where should they send them? Hello at penaddict.com. I love these stories. They're super fun. I appreciate y'all sharing these stories, and thanks for allowing us to read them on air, everyone. Some people will send them and say, hey, I just want to tell you this. Don't read it. That's cool, too. If you want me to not read it or redact your name and any of that stuff, that's fine. We can change all the info. I just appreciate that y'all allow us to have this bit of fun every now and then, because, I mean, honestly, this stuff is fun. We share your pain. We've been there. We've done that, and just to hear these stories, it just makes us chuckle, so we appreciate it.
Speaker 02: so great? You know, you've just been there, done that. It's like Hall of Famers, they've been there, done that, and now they get a t-shirt.
Brad Dowdy: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Speaker 02: Thanks so much for listening to this episode of The Pen Addict. Thanks to ExpressVPN, Penchele, and Eero for their support. You can find show notes for this episode at relay.fm slash Pen Addict slash 366. There's a bunch of pictures that you want to go into the show notes to get for extra color in this one. You definitely want that. If you want to find Brad online, go to penaddict.com and knock.co, penaddict on Instagram, dowdyism on Twitter, twitch.tv slash penaddict. You can find me on Instagram on imike. I-M-Y-K-E, and we'll be back next time. Until then, say goodbye, Brad.
Brad Dowdy: Goodbye, Brad.
Speaker 02: John John John