Editing The Pen Addict 334/transcript (section)

== Personal Reflection Begins ==


'''Brad Dowdy:''' Right. That's exactly right. That was a nice word. That wasn't the word I would have used. But yes, agree. So, let me kind of go... So, when you said that, I had just been... Last week, I had just been, like, thinking about... The reason why it stopped me in my tracks, like, so quickly... Is because I had been thinking about that related to, like, some product I was looking at. Like, it just... It was, like, the perfect timing of wanting to have a longer conversation about why I do what I do and what I believe in. So, I guess if I can have the floor for a minute, I'm going to go through some of the things that kind of set me down a path of, you know, the tastemaker conversation that I just kind of wanted to get out there. I think a lot of people that know me on a personal level know these things already. I don't think I'm saying anything new or novel to them, but there's always new listeners. There's always new followers to the blog. There's always new people that are tuning in or reading the things that I do. So, I'm going to go for it. How's that sound?

'''Myke Hurley:''' Yeah.

'''Myke Hurley:''' I'm going to step in. I'm not just going to let you talk. Yes. Yes, please. Go for it.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Please. But what I wanted to make clear from the jump, and this should go without saying, but this is the internet, and it never goes without saying, I'm not curing cancer here. I'm not reversing climate change. You know, I'm not changing the world. Like, I'm passionate about stationary. Like, this is what I do. This is what I am. I've said it in the past. I can't not do this, right? This is who I am, like, down to my core. It sounds weird to say that I'm that passionate about, like, pens and paper and inks and stuff, but I can't not do this. This is how I'm built, and that's what I built the pen addict on. Like, that type of passion of learning and sharing and conversing and helping. That's why the pen addict exists. Mm-hmm. And, you know, when I started that, it'll be, God, we're a couple weeks away from the pen addict turning 11. You know, I didn't, you know, plan on being where I'm at now, but, you know, I just took it as a learning experience, and I kept learning things about pens, and I kept sharing those things, and I kept building the site. Right. And, luckily enough, I'm pretty good at it. Like, those are words you don't say out loud to people. I'm good at what I do. I think I am.

'''Myke Hurley:''' I'm very pleased you said that, because it's hard to talk. This is the type of thing that I'm saying that's hard to talk about. Yeah. But at a certain point, you have to say it, right? Like, if you're talking about something like this, you have to say it, and I agree.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Yeah. I like what I do, and I think I'm good at it. I'm very lucky that I could take my passion and make a job out of it. Like, all these things that I enjoy so much, I was able to do something right along the way, and turning it into my full-time job. So, what this has done over, say, these past 10 years has kind of changed my perspective. It's changed my day-to-day. It's changed what people think about me. It's changed how people, you know, read my words. But it didn't change me. Like, as Brad, the person, like, I don't feel that I changed. But I did learn that the words I say and the words I share can move the needle. And that's a responsibility.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' And it sounds weird to say when you say you have a responsibility to other people and you're not changing the world. But people do look to the content I create as, you know, important or, you know, for whatever reason they enjoy it. I realized it took a while for me to realize that the words I say matter and that they can change things. And I fought that for a long time. Like, I didn't even realize I was doing it right. You don't, I just, like, we've talked about it before. You've heard me say a million times. It's like, I just do what I do, Myke. I don't put a lot of thought into it, right? So I just do what I do. Well, it got to a point where, like, I was actively pushing against that a little bit, you know, just kind of putting it to the side, if you will. Like, okay, there's, yeah, my words might mean something. But, you know, I'm not going to take that too seriously. Um, but then I realized that people did care what I said. They did care what I thought about products. They did care about my beliefs about companies. And they act on those words. I didn't think that would happen. Who acts on the words? The readers or the consumers of the words. Like, the words I say, people would take action on those words, right? Also, the companies, though. And the companies, sure, sure, sure, sure. So, yeah, I didn't put all that together. Or I did put it together and chose to ignore it. Like, no, not really. You know, just, no, no way. Well, turns out, yes way. People will act on the words I say. And it took a bad experience for me to figure that out, right? You know, it was, I had a really bad moment last year, almost a year ago right now, where I got openly agitated about a product and a brand. And the way I handled that was not right. We're talking about Baranfig? And that's when I... Yes. Okay.

'''Myke Hurley:''' I just want, I don't want it to sound like it was a secret, because it wasn't.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' It's not. It's public. Like, all that stuff's out there. I have never deleted anything that I've said, because I stand by everything that I said. But that doesn't mean that I handled the problem correctly. Yeah. And that's when I realized that my words did matter, and my actions did matter, and my stances on things do matter. And I wanted to refocus that to a more positive path, right? I was channeling anger and angst and going down this path of negativity, and I hated it. Like, it was really bad.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' But it didn't change me. It changed my perception of what I wanted to be, and how I wanted to present the things that I do, because I think I have gotten bigger, and, you know, more eyeballs on me, and you have to handle yourself a certain way while still remaining true to yourself. And that's kind of the biggest thing. So I kind of accepted. That's the point where it took me a while, and I fought it. But I accepted the fact that my words do matter, right?

'''Brad Dowdy:''' I'm happy that my words matter. I'm proud that people want to know what I'm thinking, and what my opinions are, and what I like, and what's good, and what's bad. And I want to live up to those people's expectations of me to provide them answers that they're looking for. Because that's how I started. I went out looking for answers to the questions I had about pens. And now people come to me looking for those answers, and I want to be able to help them. And I want the way I treat everyone to reflect that. You know, I want to live up to the expectations of the community as someone who has a voice and a platform to share these things. And, you know, I just want to keep building. Like, this is awesome. Like, I'm so lucky to be able to do this. It's crazy. So I did change. And that's really, like, only, like, in the past year.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' So I just wanted to say, this is, like, really hard for me to say. I'm really good at what I do.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' You know, it's not my style to come out and say that. But I think I'm really good at what I do.

'''Myke Hurley:''' You have built a business which supports your family because of the fact that you are good at this. Like, this is not a thing that many other people in the world are able to do. You know, like, you make, I mean, this is like a whole other train for probably another time which we'll probably never get to. But you make money from blogging, which is an incredibly difficult thing to do today. You know, like, you have multiple revenue streams based upon the fact that you created the pen addict and the only reason that people, people don't go to the pen addict just because it ranks high on Google, right? But, like, and then there's, like, a reason it ranks high on Google. Like, you don't SEO it. It's just people want to go and find your information. So, like, it's just ranked higher because your opinion is the opinion that matters. Like, you are the guy. This is what you are. Like, you don't even have, like, it's not because you have a particularly good brand or web address, right? Like, it just all works. I mean, we look at it now and, like, in the wider pen community, pen addict has just become a phrase, right? Which is a lot of the time devoid from you even. And that shows purely how big everything has gone over time. And this is all related to the fact that you are, yes, very good at what you do.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Yeah. So, and I want to make sure I act and work and communicate in a way that reflects that, right? Like, the words I say are important. Yes, Myke, I am a tastemaker. Like, the things I say change things. They can change things, you know? Whether it's perception, whether it's, you know, black and white numbers, anything. So, I'm happy I got to the point where, like, I can do that. Like, I don't, you don't go in thinking, like, you know, one day I'm going to change how this company thinks about how they do business. I mean, no one thinks that, but sometimes it just kind of happens. And my goal now is just to reflect and build and communicate and share, like, everything I have the best way possible in the most open, transparent, ask me anything. And I'll tell you why, because that's what I believe in. And I just want people to understand that when they're working with me or dealing with me or asking me questions or listening to me, that, you know, the things I say, even though they are my job, I always keep your best interests first and foremost, you know, in the top of my head. But at the end of the day, I'm also, I mean, I didn't know a better way to say this, but I'm in the business of me, right? I have to work a certain way. And I believe in what I'm doing. Like, I'm passionate about these things. And I care about these things. And if I didn't, I don't think y'all would be listening to me, right? Like, if I was fake or phony or full of crap or, you know, didn't, you know, really care about the products that I talked about, y'all wouldn't give me the time of day, nor should you. So I always try to just operate in the way that, you know, it's very simple, you know, treat others like you want to be treated. And that's the way I run any business aspect that I do, you know, any, you know, the blog, the podcast, not, you know, I don't, I do things that I feel like are normal and easy, but they don't always come off that way. So I guess that's mostly it. I'm a tastemaker, Myke, and I'm proud of it. And I'm going to keep working at it. And I'm going to keep sharing. And I'm going to keep believing. And, you know, I'm going to prop up the people in this community. I'm going to prop up the companies that I believe in. And I'm going to enjoy everything that comes my way because of it. I'm going to enjoy this pen and this paper and that ink. And, you know, I hope y'all enjoy it too. Like I, that's, that's how I operate. And I hope, you know, this didn't come off too tooly. But sometimes you just got to stop and like kind of lay it out there on the table, you know, just from like a personal level, especially since this is a business now, right? Like it's a different perspective all the way around. So, you know, it's, I'm going to, I'm going to keep doing what I do. I've had a really good past year of changing my focus to just staying positive while still being critical and opinionated because that needs to happen too. Right? Yep. This is that whole conversation we had a year ago about, you know, how to handle negativity and things. And there's, there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. So I've been working on that and I, I hope it's coming through and I think it is. And yeah, so that's that.