Editing The Pen Addict 191/transcript (section)

== Calligraphy Flex ==


'''Azizah Asgarali:''' I really like it.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Well, I think that's a good start on on getting getting going with calligraphy and flex. And it's going to come down to practice. I mean, even if you don't have the nibs and you don't have the inks and you can still get in there and write a page of A's, you know, find a style you like. Like pick out an A from that style and just go to town, you know, and it takes a while. That's how I learned like my drafting style handwriting was just literally sitting at a table with a legal pad and doing the letters over and over until that muscle memory hit. And it takes it takes a long time.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' You know, it's tedious when you first start because you're like, OK, I I'm this is terrible. But at some point, you'll just you'll just hit that point where you're you start remembering it. And it's so it's so satisfying. It's so good. It's so worth it.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Yep. Yep.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' I love it.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Well, we got a lot more to talk about, but I want to talk about our next sponsor, which is our good friends at Harry's. Shaving is expensive. It's annoying. I hate it. We all hate it. There's no redeeming values with shaving except when you can use awesome products like from Harry's, you know, go into the drugstore and buying all those expensive blades is it's just annoying and frustrating. And when you can get a great product like Harry's who makes their own blades, they're German engineered five blade cartridges. They own the factory that these blades come from. It's a close, clean shave. There's no cuts, no razor burn. They guarantee their quality. They'll refund you if you're not happy. They've got over one million people so far that have switched over to Harry's and you guys and gals should be one of them. I love the products. If you've listened to me ramble on about Harry's, you know, I'm a huge, huge Harry's fan. And on average, an everyday shaver saves one hundred fifty dollars a year on blades alone. Just using Harry's. They ship them to your door. It's free shipping. You can get started for just fifteen dollars with a razor, moisturizing shave cream and three blades. It's really, really good. Their products are really well made. From when I started using Harry's, I'm still using the same razor handle. This orange one that I that I got the very first time I've used it. It's no worse from wear. It works perfectly.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' You know, I change the blades out, you know, really not that frequently. The blades are super durable. Hold up well. Give me a clean shave. I love I love the scent of their shave gel and their shave lotion. And I am just really, really, truly happy customer of Harry's. So it's time to stop overpaying for razors and blades. Go to Harry's dot com. Harry's will give you five off five dollars off. If you type in the coupon code pin addict on your first purchase. That's H.A.R.R.Y.S. dot com. Enter the code name pin addict at checkout for five dollars off. And our thanks to Harry's for supporting this show and Relay FM. All right, Aziza, I want to get into something that we don't talk about a lot on the show and actually have never talked about. But I think it's an important topic to bring up. And I think you're the right person to discuss this. And that's harassment online for some of us in the pin community. You know, I I praise this community left and right. And I know you do, too, and I know everyone does, because it's a legitimately awesome community. But you and more than anyone, in my opinion, has run into some real challenges with online harassment in the form of. YouTube comments, Reddit threads, you know, just making really nonsensical, unimportant, you know, issues that they may have to the forefront and just kind of railing on this. If you can take a minute and talk about like what you've experienced and, you know, the things that have gone on that have really kind of pushed you to the edge. You've talked about quitting doing this before, right?

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's been it's very odd. I mean, I know when you put yourself out there that you do open yourself up to a public forum. And of course, people have every right to an opinion. But I mean, this is the most I mean, I grew up with, you know, the teaching of if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Right. And of course, there is there's a difference between constructive criticism and just, you know, not constructive criticism. Right. And I don't know how I started coming across this stuff. But I mean, at some point I was never really on YouTube. I used to just do my blog. And since Stephen and I started doing the serious nibbage series, just those joint videos. And apparently that just triggered something horrible in everyone who was involved in all this harassment because it it caused much consternation. I mean, I would get these emails and then we would get these horrible YouTube comments and and and Reddit threads. Oh, my gosh. Reddit. I, I do not. I at some point I decided, OK, I need to stop. I used to look at the forums just because I thought it was interesting. There were interesting articles. I used to share some of my stuff there. I had done this kind of like a review of five or six music nibs. And I was so excited to share it on Reddit. And I was so proud of it. And so I shared it there and I was really excited and people were really nice at first. And then several months later, I end up there. I stumble across this this thread about it was kind of about Stephen and I. And then I kind of separated into what people hate about us individually. And then people start taking pictures from my Instagram that I have like selfies of myself and posting it in there. And it was just it's so odd. I it's such a I felt so violated. And I was like, what? I mean, I know people don't have to like me and that's fine. But I also find it so baffling that people would hate someone so much they feel the need to go through all of this.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Yeah, the need to directly attack someone for their sex or their race and these ridiculous comments and pointing out why you don't believe, you know, they should be writing pen reviews or you feel the need to make fun of them. And I think that's a lot of people who are going to be writing pen reviews or some random thing is the most asinine thing. Not only you see, I see this a lot in the tech community and we talk about that on a lot of other relay shows. But to see that creep up in like the most benign areas like. Pens and ink.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' Exactly.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' It's extraordinarily frustrating. I don't understand why this has to happen. And I feel like terrible for like you and Stephen for having to put up with this. And, you know, I don't have an answer to solve it other than to know that the community as a whole is really good and has each other's backs and supportive of each other. But I'm embarrassed that, you know, you have had to go through this and it's frustrating. And that's for me to say that is nothing. You're the one that's actually had to live through it. Right.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' Yeah. And I mean, I'm I'm really not the kind of person that like talks about my feelings online, except for when this happens. And there have been times like I have gotten emails where. Usually males have described me like, oh, you're repulsive. You know, you should not be with Stephen and like all sorts of really insulting things. And I I'm assuming and I probably shouldn't assume, but I get the feeling it's because I'm a female and maybe because I am not what they are expecting in the community. I'm young. I'm a female. I am a minority. So maybe they're like, what is happening here? Like, who is this? And it's it almost broke my heart, though, because I'm like, yeah, but I've been here since for years. I mean, I've been doing this for years. I have every right to be in this community as anyone else does, because, I mean, I contribute to it. I help people. I spend hours and hours a week answering questions and giving guidance. Like people asking like questions about, you know, where can they get flex pens or how to write. So I try to give back so much. And of course, I. I was just I was shocked and I was like, I cannot believe that this is actually happening over pens. I mean, this is not like world peace discussions or something. This is pens. It's supposed to be fun.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Right. All right. And I mean, it was hurtful to see you go through that. And, you know, I wish I could do more and I'll have to think about how, you know, I can do more to to point these things out in these, you know, things that happen to you and others. And, you know, myself from time to time, you know, but gosh, I would never compare myself to, you know, the things that you you've gone through. And I think you handled it pretty well in the fact that, you know, number one, you let your feelings be known. You know, you didn't run from it. And number two, that you're still here and you're better than ever. And you have the support, full support of everyone in the community. And you're just, you know, a beloved figure in the community. And that's going to be bigger than any of these, you know, fools who who think they're, you know, accomplishing something by trying to hurt you. So I just want you to know that.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' Well, I very much appreciate that. And I think I think that does help. I think having vented how I was feeling, I mean, there were really days that I was like, I can't take this anymore. I have to quit because I can't take being harassed and insulted because I was like, I really did not think I deserved it. And I don't really think anybody deserves any harassment regardless. But I, I tried to step back and I tried to figure out ways to deal with it. But I mean, there's only so much I can do and there's only so much I can avoid it. So I do find that having vented and having people like all the great people, like the kind people, they have all rallied and they've been like, no, these people are nuts. Just ignore this. I know it's hard and I know it's easy to say haters are going to hate and all that kind of stuff. But the support from the good people has been, it's been really wonderful. And I think that's probably the only thing that kept me going. Okay. So it is, I tried to learn from it as well. I tried to think, okay, you know, of course there are going to people who don't like what I do or don't appreciate that I'm here or involved in this. And I tried to pick through the really weird things that they have said to pull out constructive criticism. And I have tried to modify my work to, to fix it. So I hope that maybe somewhere they're like happier or something, but.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Right. Right. Well, just know that we're all there for you. We're all, uh, we're all super supportive and, you know, hopefully this is going to die down and not become a thing.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' So, yeah, I hope so because it's tense. We're supposed to be fun.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Right. And I'm glad you wanted to talk about this too. You know, it was something, you know, we, you, you don't know. It's not something you hear often in this community, but it's so prevalent in, in all areas of our life, even this community. And everyone should be aware of these things going on. If they, if any listeners, uh, readers of our blogs have any comments on this and want to talk about it more, definitely, um, reach out to us and, um, and let us know.

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' Yeah. And thank you for, you know, providing us a forum for being able to do this because it's hard.

'''Brad Dowdy:''' Hey, absolutely. Absolutely. So I'm going to make the worst segue ever. Are you ready?

'''Azizah Asgarali:''' Absolutely.